Sometimes I do wonder...

So today I had to go to the Fas office about a course I had signed up for.

Only it wasn't the actual course I had signed up for. No no no, they cancelled that.

They sent me a letter but I didn't get it. It (probably) went to the building next door but the postman seems incapable of understanding that it's vacant.

[Back in November I told them I was having problems with post and changed my postal address on their ''system'' to that of my folks. Mum's good with post. It's filed in no order whatsoever behind the biscuit tin that may or may not be occupied by dad's favourite type of fruit cake. It doesn't move. She's good like that. ''A place for everything and everything in it's place.''. The place for post is behind the biscuit tin.]

So I walked into their office and asked if the course was still going ahead as I hadn't received a letter and if they did send me one it may have been delivered to the wrong address as that had been happening a lot but that's why when I signed up for the course I had given them my folk's address. (I spared them the biscuit tin story at this juncture - she didn't look like the kind of civil servant who would understand my mother's need to hide correspondence behind tins that may or may not contain baked goods)

-''We sent you a letter''

Yes, sorry about that but I didn't get it. Is the course still going ahead?

-"A letter went out to you"

Yeah, I didn't get it though. Is it still going ahead? Cause it was meant to start next week.

-"Yeah well this was all in the letter"

Oh? Sorry, what was in the letter?

-"We sent you out a letter"

Now I'm not normally a violent person. I've never intentionally done another human any harm. (Ok well there was that loud American who was taking the piss out of a guy in a wheelchair at an ATM once, about 12 years ago, but I only kicked her in the shin and besides even her mates came up to me afterwards and congratulated me. I think they may have ''high 5'ed'' me too but the memory is hazy).

But seriously.... was there a box on the application form for her job that said ''Do you enjoy annoying the FUCK out of the people who we are employing you to assist?''

The conversation went on in the same manner for over 40 minutes.

Is there an alternative course that I could do to fill the gaps in my previous training and qualifications?

-''Well yes there is but this was all outlined in the letter we sent out to you''

20 minutes later I find out that there IS an alternative course I could do. 10 minutes after that I glean that there is an information session about this course in this very building. Whoopdeedoo. I can see the light. And it only took a fucking hour.

So if I do the short 6 week course it will:

1 - not actually result in any recognised qualification.
2 - require me to sign off the live register for the duration.
3 - affect my rent allowance entitlement due to me not receiving a social welfare payment.
4 - require me to sign back ON to the live register after 6 weeks, which will mean that it will take anything up to six weeks for my social welfare payments to resume.

If I had had a gun it would not have been to the temple of the brainless twat of a civil servant I would have put it to.

It would have been my own.